I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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