I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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