HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
