Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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