The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
