did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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