god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can't turn off my feet"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize