I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize