Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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