shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
