we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
