mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
