Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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