i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
