Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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