Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
