Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
