There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
how drunk are you?
Several
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
