i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
