He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I had to cum in my sink.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
