my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
