I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
