Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
