...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
