so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
