She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
