We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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