i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
