I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
