Me too!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
