Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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