we have pet lesbian snakes
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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