We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
