I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
