If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
