Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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