You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
