my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and she was petting her beer can
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
