Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
