Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
