the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
