so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
