I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
