I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize