your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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