so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
