Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
