? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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