you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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