You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
