So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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