never play flip cup with pint glasses
I skipped work to stalk him.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
operation have a gay friend backfired
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
