jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
