Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
