I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
